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Written Observations Contributed to the Cause Final Countdown He Who Got Lost Sooner Sooner Later Later
Katastrophic Kacophony!
The Sound Became Unbearable
I don't know the mechanics of how dreams work but I usually end up waking up from upsetting dreams than ones that make me feel good. They aren't nightmares as I know that they aren't generated in malice but there are situations where I cannot win or am helpless and simply watch inevitable outcomes. I don't know what approach I must take, but something has to change soon.
Into The Forest
I Don't get it. I put it out there and get ignored. All business I suppose.
Into The Forest
I believe we destroy ourselves daily. Bring down walls, notions, attachments; etc. I believe some of us don't build something new from the wreckage while others do. Piecing things together from memories or ideals that didn't work yesterday but might today with some fine tuning. I'm unsure whether I am building everyday or simply deconstructing everything until I have nothing left to analyze. I grow tired and apathetic again in favor of retaining shards of sanity or peace.

No, I'm not attempting to be clever as much as I have run out of room in my head to continue listening to my own thoughts that go nowhere. I just don't know how to react or express myself is all. The smiles and warm welcomes are free but the drinks I pay for are not. Sadly, without that aid I find myself wound up and full of thoughts. Drinking doesn't remove the problem but it does help numb the overactivity of it. It allows me to simply react than to think and there are times where I need my instincts and liquid courage over my over-analytical mind.

I don't give myself rest; I constantly deconstruct myself...with very few changes. Sometimes I wonder...but lately I have been meaning simply not to.

Mode of Living: listless listless

Into The Forest
Sometimes I feel it is best to keep your friends close, your enemies closer; the ones you love farthest away.
Into The Forest
When even happy memories fill you with sadness, then almost all is lost.
Into The Forest
A wreck...yep. That's me. I can solve most everyone else's problems but I can't solve my own. I do this to myself, I know.
Into The Forest
No, yes, well maybe...

...but I think it's time to bury some ghosts. The task is difficult but there are way too many things I have been haunted by that continue to pose themselves obstacles to me. I have done what I can to make my own peace but this world doesn't play by honorable standards. It seems there is only the NOW that counts the most when it comes to decisions. It has been proven that most don't contain the conviction I seek and that the ideal must be put to rest for something that can be readily achieved. All the commendations for doing your personal best or being a great person are like getting gold stars in the first grade, meaningless.

Days pass by and I simply allow myself to bury ideals, people, memories; more into the depths of forgotten memory. Perhaps it'd be better to say that I sink these entities to the bottom of the ocean in hopes that do not surface and plague me. Sadly, these entities are siren songs that make me look towards the deep water to either wonder or get drawn in to swim towards them. Either way I lose. I would either drown on my way to get to them or I would free them from the shackles I have places upon them and allow myself to get torn apart.

I'm unsure; I haven't written anything in some time either so that is why my mind is clouded. Work numbs me enough to work the rote I have grown accustomed to and move to the next day. Struggling to keep positive when enough time alone only makes you wish to be selfish. Oh the dichotomy of human nature. Well, specifically mine.

Guess it is safer for everyone/everything that I withdraw and better reflect on actions and myself.
2 Lost Themselves or Into The Forest
I believe many things are taken from people during the course of a lifetime. Dignity is definitely among the top 3.
Into The Forest
I had a dream I made a pact with the fey and had friends slaughtered, while I kept peace with enemies. Then I ended up with a baby daughter and no mother for her. Go figure.

Mode of Living: confused confused

Into The Forest
I'm scattered all over the place, but I think it's better that I attempt to pick up the fragments of this shattered glass and remold myself.I think that I've also let my mind wander too much; overanalyzed way too much to fall flat with nothing in hand. I believe my most humbling experience came about two weeks ago. I felt shamed, upset, lost, confused; everything else in the middle. I've decided the best method of approach is to withdraw and gather myself without allowing myself to be distracted or allow random thoughts plague me to a crippling point where I move nowhere. So, yeah. Let's see where that goes. I once had focus and then I allowed myself to get distracted too easily. I've had way too much to drink and simply float through the randomness of that which are encounters under my name. No, I think I have to figure out a better approach than the one I've been taking these last couple of weeks. Blah, I need to make sense sometimes.
Into The Forest